Why I Cook, Part Un

My Mom


My mom is awesome.  I'm saying that because she is awesome, and also because she is reading this. She loves my blog.  She checks every day to see if I've posted anything.  I told her that there was a way to have it email her when I posted something new.  But she said that would ruin it.  She likes checking because of the possibility that something might be there.  Or at least that's what she said.  I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that she doesn't know what I'm talking about.

All of this makes me feel really good because my mom is really, really smart.  She is gentle and kind, a good listener, and a great audience.  She reads all the time, has lots of degrees, and has a very low tolerance for bad writing.  So, for her to say she loves my blog means a lot.  She is also my mom.  And moms have to be supportive of their children.  And sometimes they have to not tell them that their shirt makes them look like a hobo.  Wait.

Anyway, the fact that my mom may or may not like my blog about food and gardening and housekeeping is, to be honest, a little, teeny bit surprising.  I've had many people in my life say, "You love to cook so much, your mom must have been a great cook." "Did you learn to cook from your mom?" "You must have eaten really well as a child."

Well, here it is, in a nutshell.  I wish I could claim first dibs on this story, but my brother can claim that prize.  And no, he doesn't read my blog.  But he loves me anyway.

The Coffee Cake


It was 1993.  It was the first Thanksgiving that I had ever spent away from home.  T and I were a couple of months away from getting married, and we went up to Dallas to be with his family.  I should never have gone.  Not because I didn't enjoy myself, but because I missed the most legendary and epic story of our family.  Well, except for the one where my dad ran over me in a motorboat.  He doesn't really like me to tell that one.

Anyway, my brother, J, has always gotten to have a Sara Lee Butter Streusel Coffee Cake on holidays. I liked the pecan one because it has frosting, but my parents don't love me as much as they love him, so most of the time, they "forgot" to get the pecan one, and J. always, always got to have his Butter Streusel.

Anyway, J and my parents had to muddle through Thanksgiving without me.  I can't even remember what their Thanksgiving plans were, but J. was going to have his Butter Streusel coffee cake regardless.  So, he turned on the oven to preheat it for the coffee cake.  And probably, knowing him, went back to bed.  Afterwhile (yes, that's a word), a discernible smoky smell began to emanate from the kitchen.  J. went to investigate and found, wait for it, the remains of the Sara Lee Butter Streusel Coffee Cake from the previous Christmas.

My parents hadn't turned on the oven in 11 months.

Right Now


Right now, my mom is giggling and wiping tears from her eyes AND protesting that she fed us really well.  And she did.  She fed us whole grains and lean meats.  We sat at the table most nights and talked.  Like a real family.  We had the dearest housekeeper, Walter Lee, who would cook meals to be reheated.  And my mom had a few special dishes up her sleeves.  How you choose to interpret special is up to you, but for her, they were a sacrifice that she was willing to make for her family.

She tried.  She really did.  But my mom doesn't like cooking and never liked cooking, and that's okay.  Just because you give birth to someone doesn't change what you're good at.  What my mom is good at is back-scratching, laughing, reading, smiling, listening, comforting, singing, praying, drinking coffee and reading the paper, doing dishes, keeping her grandchildren, traveling, spa-ing, and loving.

Those are mighty fine qualities.

I love you, Mom!

I'm Getting There. Locally.

All the way home from my errands and Costco, all I could think about was Mighty Fine Burgers.  There is a specific taste and smell to the entire place, just the right size burger, no cheese required, crispy crinkle fries, salt and pepper on the tables.  Now, even the quickest glance at the QC will tell you that we have hamburgers quite often here at Casa O - they're easy, they're quick, they're tasty.  And with the lean beef or ground sirloin, not all that bad for you.  But they never quite measure up to Mighty Fine. So, what is the magic to eating out?

I don't know the answer to that question, but it pervades.  G was telling me last week that she dreams about eating out in class.  When I asked her what restaurant she dreams about, she said, "all of them.  I think about it all the time.  Texican, Dan's, Maudies, Taco Cabana.  I spend whole classes thinking about it."  Now, she's the one that wasn't going to be in love with the idea of the project from the get-go, but I have to say that even I can kind of get what she's saying.

Because fast food/restaurant food is absolutely pervasive.  On my circle trip of errands while the kids are in tutoring, I pass the following:

Taco Bell
Chipotle
Mama Fu's Chinese
Subway
Schlotzsky's
Mighty Fine Burgers
Carino's
River City Coffee and Bakery
Zen Japanese
Longhorn Steakhouse
BJ's Brewhouse
Doc's Backyard
Which Wich (I think)
Dickey's BBQ
Wendy's
Serrano's Mexican
Potbelly Sandwiches
Mandola's Italian kitchen
Taco Cabana
Wings To Go
Chuy's Mexican
Cheddar's
Firehouse Subs
Kerbey Lane
P Terry's
And that's just the ones I can think of right now.

All of these are located on the maybe two mile loop.   And they were mostly all busy, or at least occupied to some degree.  This business makes money, and a lot of it.  It also, to be fair, employs a lot of people.   Here's the reality, according to the restaurant industry themselves:

2012 RESTAURANT INDUSTRY OVERVIEW

• Sales: $632 billion
• Locations: 970,000
• Employees: 12.9 million — one of the largest private-sector employers
• Restaurant-industry share of the food dollar: 48%

TOP TEN FACTS IN 2012

• $1.7 billion: Restaurant-industry sales on a typical day in 2012.
• 1.4 million: Number of positions the restaurant industry will add in the next decade.
• Restaurant-industry job growth has outpaced the national economy in 12 consecutive years, from 2000 through 2011.
• 93%: Percentage of eating-and-drinking place businesses that have fewer than 50 employees.
• 7 out of 10 eating-and-drinking place establishments are single-unit operations.
• 66% of adults say their favorite restaurant foods provide flavor and taste sensations which cannot easily be duplicated in their home kitchen.
• One-half of all adults have worked in the restaurant industry at some point in their lives, and one-third got their first job experience in a restaurant.
• 80% of restaurant owners said their first job in the restaurant industry as an entry-level position.
• $2,505: Average household expenditure on food away from home in 2010.
• 38%: Percent of adults who said they would be likely to utilize a smartphone app if it was offered by a quickservice restaurant.

Get more details in our 2012 Restaurant Industry Forecast.

Source:  http://www.restaurant.org/research/facts/ (highlighting is mine)

All that food, with all that salt, all those calories, all those preservatives, or not, as far as you know.  I'm not sure if it's a plus or a drawback that you don't know what's going into your food when you eat out.  And maybe people don't care.   If that many people think they can't replicate the taste at home, maybe that's a tradeoff that they're willing to make.  And how can you not think about outside food when you're bombarded with it all the time?

And I'll be honest, I almost packed it in today.  Not for any real reason other than I really, really wanted an over salted, over greasy, over large meal.  But I didn't do it.  Mostly because today was LOCAL DAY!  Well, that, and I'd already made dinner.

Okay, there's no such thing as local day.  I made that up.  But I'd be lying if I said that I didn't kick some locavore ass today.  I started the day with R. at the market day at Boggy Creek Farm where there was chard!  And eggs!  And spring onions!  And little, bitty, baby squashes!   There's only one thing you can do with that:  Quiche!  Squash and onions!

Other than the whole wheat pie crusts from Central Market and the low sodium bacon and parmesan from the Costco, everything in our dinner tonight was local.  The eggs were from JFTB's sister's chicken, the leeks from the farm box and the chard from Boggy Creek.  Our veg was tiny baby zucchini and yellow squash and spring onions sauteed in olive oil.  We did have some multigrain toast from the La Brea bakery, but that's usually a breakfast item, so I'm letting it ride.

T. was home, and we actually sat around the table, all four of us, and ate our local meal at our local home.  And it was wonderful.  But does that mean I'm not going to miss the Mighty Fine?

No, it does not.

Dammit.

Nature's Most Perfect Food, Part Un

For the first time in a long time, those ads on the right side of my Facebook page got it right.  I usually have requests to take off that stubborn belly fat, to try laser hair removal, and to spoil my grandchildren.   Day after day after day.  I don't know whether to be horribly offended or utterly humiliated.  How did they know?  Does it look that thick?  I will KILL her.


Anyway, today was different.  It was if the clouds had parted and the angels began to sing.  The top ad on FB today was for a t-shirt.  The happiest, truest statement t-shirt ever.  It said:

Either you like BACON

or you're wrong.

Can I get an amen?

I have this ongoing argument with my dad about what is nature's most perfect food.  He thinks it's Fritos.  Now, he likes bacon as much as the next guy and being from West Texas, grew up eating bacon with pretty much everything.  But he believes that Fritos are nature's most perfect food.  When I pointed out that chemically-extruded fried corn snack chips don't exactly qualify as natural, he was unmoved.  Which led us to a significantly more scientific analysis.

So, here's how the conversation usually goes:

Me:  Dad, there are three basic qualities that NMPF must have.  It must have the power to make you feel good.  

Dad:  Fritos make me happy.  I love them.  And they love me.

Me:  But not like bacon.  You know that feeling when you wake up and you smell bacon cooking and you know it's going to be a good day?  

Dad:  I like the smell of Fritos.

Me:  But how do can they make you happy?  

Dad:  Because they are always accompanied by chili or bean dip.

Now, you know and I know that the second quality of nature's most perfect food is that it should enhance or improve the flavor of everything it's served with.  I'll grant that chili and bean dip are lovely with Fritos.  But, you can wrap anything in bacon and it will be instantly elevated to greatness.  You know that moment when the waitress is telling you the specials (won't be having that moment for a while), and she mentions some item wrapped in bacon?  And you know how you can't remember any other special mentioned before or after except for the one wrapped in bacon?  You don't even remember what it is that is wrapped in bacon, but you order it anyway.  I know.

Let's be honest.  You could wrap anything in bacon, and I would probably eat it.  Fritos do not lend themselves logistically to wrapping or fine dining.


Me:  But Dad, the most important requirement for NMPF is that it has to be able to be served with all three meals - breakfast, lunch, and dinner.


Dad:  Fritos can.


Me:  You can't eat Fritos for breakfast.


Dad:  I can.


This is pretty much how every argument I have ever had with my dad ends up.  But, they're not making Frito t-shirts, are they?  Or Frito bandaids, or Frito lip balm, or Frito car fresheners, are they?  No, they are not.  But they are making all of those things in Bacon.  Is it wrong that I know this because I own or have been given, at one time or another, all of these items?


If it's wrong, then I don't want to be right.