Saturday, March 3, 2012


More like appallingly awesome.

Okay, so I don't usually go in for food that may or may not be made from petroleum products.  We eat a relatively balanced diet -- lean meats, vegetables (except on Tuesdays) the occasional ice cream cone.  I buy organic and local when I can.

But not today.  Today, my family is coming over for dinner because I can't go out according to the project (it's not a reunion if your brother lives in the same town and your parents come in quite a bit).  And, if you've been following along, not only have I been working full days this week, my oven AND stove are broken.  As in kaput.  As in no-workee.  As in nada.

Did I cave in?  Did I wave the white flag?  NO!

I bounced the herb-marinated pork tenderloin (I love you, Ina) to Friday.  I'm making baked potatoes in my crockpot and one borrowed from my awesome neighbors, S and E, who should not be confused with my awesome neighbors, K and D, whose kitchen I virtually overran on Monday.  My brother and his crew are bringing salad, and my parents are bringing appetizers.

The only thing left for our dinner is dessert.  Do we need it?  No.  But do we need it?  Yes.  It's been a long week, and we don't really all get together as often as we should.  Normally, I'd throw together an olive oil cake or some cookies.  I really want to make this grapefruit-pecan sheet cake from my husband's college friend, Lisa Fain.  On my very best days, I might make the buttermilk pie from the Houston Junior League Cookbook (um, the 1968, y'all, not that impostor from the 80s).   All of those would be great.  If I had an oven.  And since I'm not buying pre-prepared items these days, I decided to forego the cakes and pies (yeah, we had one at S's birthday party, but I'm filing that under the birthday exemption).

So, that left ice cream, which is fine, but not terribly festive.  I remembered a concoction that my neighbor, S, made me for my birthday many years ago.  It was like an ice cream cake, only better, and homemade, and with crunchy bits.  So, I called her from the freezer section at the HEB.  "Hey, remember that thing you made me with the ice cream sandwiches that made a sort of a cake?"  "Wow, I don't think I've thought of that since I made it for you."  Yeah.  And that was about 8 years ago.  Neither of us could remember exactly how it worked, but we remembered that it was AWESOME.  And contained copious amounts of Cool Whip.  Between us, we were able to cobble together a reasonable working facsimile of it.

Now, Cool Whip is not the healthiest thing around.  And if I think about it too hard, I start worrying about my blood pressure.  And my butt.  And then I get a little light-headed.  So, instead of thinking about it, I did something about it.  I bought a box of mini ice cream sandwiches, a tub of Cool Whip, a box of nutter butter wafers, with a Butterfinger candy bar kicker.

Here's the deal:

Ice Cream Sandwich Cake
It's very June Cleaver.  My brother said it's more Marge Simpson than June Cleaver.  You be the judge.

This is going to be waaaaaay better if you make it the night before.

1 box mini ice cream sandwiches
1 tub Cool Whip
1 pkg Nutter Butter wafers (not the regular cookies - too hard)
1 Butterfinger candy bar
1 8x8 square pan (I used disposable here - it's irresponsible and I feel terrible, but I will recycle it)

Line pan with ice cream sandwiches lying side to side.  You may have to cut one in half to make them fit.  Leave as little space in between as possible.  Mash sandwiches down until all spaces in between are filled.  Your fingers may be covered in chocolate cookie goo from the ice cream sandwiches.  This is very sad.  You will probably have to lick it off to make yourself feel better.  Spread sandwiches with half of the Cool Whip in an even layer.  Place a single layer of Nutter Butter wafers on Cool Whip.  You may have to eat some of them while you are working because this is a really grueling process.  Then place another layer of ice cream sandwiches down and mash them into the wafers until they have spread into an even layer.  Oh, dear.  You may have picked up some more ice cream sandwich cookie goo.  Top with second half of Cool Whip.  Bang candy bar against kitchen counter and beat with cookbook until it's in little bits.  I think I used The Essential Pepin.  Sprinkle top with candy bits.  Cover and freeze, preferably overnight.

Mmmmmmmm.  Well, hello, Eddie.

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